THE OUTA TIMES
When there's craziness in the world that's so easy to see and so hard to do anything about, rather than complain I like to laugh. The Outa Times is a series of satirical blog posts inspired by current events or my wild imaginings, and is one of the most fun outlets of my frustration that I've found in the world.
Cambridge, Massachusetts – A study published last week by a group of researchers at Harvard Medical School suggests that regular yoga practice can lead to an increased likelihood of gluten sensitivity. Study groups practicing more than twice per week and owning a membership to a yoga studio were found to be suffering from this condition far more frequently than the general population.
WATERLOO, ON - A team of scientists at Canada's leading research centre – the Perimeter Institute for Theoretical Physics – published a paper this week detailing their findings that the Universe is 47 metres to the left of where they previously suspected it to be.
HOOD RIVER, OR - With Canadian Thanksgiving around the corner and the American counterpart not far behind, the environmentally conscious Turtle Island Foods just announced a new line of Free Range Tofurky.
“There are growing concerns about the manner in which we – as a society – raise and produce our food,” said Dale Halloran, CMO of Turtle Island. “This company brightened the holidays for vegetarians by introducing Tofurky nearly twenty years ago. We’re happy to see other companies starting to address the dietary needs of non-meat eaters, and it’s time for us to raise the bar.”
SAN FRANCISCO - Apple's 2014 World Wide Developer Conference kicked off earlier today with its highly anticipated keynote that included previews of their new operating systems and the launch of a product kept so tightly under wraps that even CEO Tim Cook does not know what it is.
VAUGHAN, ON - Now in its second week, the ‘Occupy SPC’ movement is continuing to gain momentum. The SPC Card, or Student Price Card, is a popular discount card sold to Canadian students across the country.
TORONTO (PRESENT) - With New Year's parties in full swing to cap off the holiday season, some revelers are finding themselves with a chariot that's turned back into a pumpkin before the stroke of midnight.
Philadelphia, PA - It has been reported in this Great Nation that the professional hockeyman Cyril “Homer” Solomon, right Defence-Man for the Philadelphia Quakers, has accomplished a tremendous feat previously supposed unthinkable: ice-skating in reverse.
Cupertino, CA - Leading up to its holiday announcement in which many analysts expect Apple to unveil a new iPad and release its much awaited Mac Pro, the technology giant has announced a new Kickstarter campaign called Bloom.
Essentially, Apple's new Bloom will be a crowd-funding service, through which it can garner support for various new initiatives. Although the official press release differentiates the new service from the very popular American crowd-funding site Kickstarter, its offerings are remarkably similar, albeit limited to Apple-only initiatives.